Audre Lorde talks about the silences keep due to fear for ourselves or fear we have of others. During the beginning of this project my professor discussed sexuality and the continual formation of identity. I have to admit when I first read my initial reaction was immediate and negative. For me, having me sexual orientation so central to my identity was abhorrent, which now seems a silly notion, but it does not change the facts.
From the time I came out it was a constant barrage of questions concerning my sexuality, and introductions as, “My gay friend.” Putting aside the misnomer, my sexuality has been a sustained theme by those around me, while I have struggled to make them see this is one part of a much large picture. So, to have this concept of sexuality playing a core principle to ones identity through the lifespan was a personal, and difficult topic to think about. But, while thinking about I realized not only my bias for the subject, for bias it is, but also the truth in which she speaks. Sexuality, to me, is difficult to articulate. As a young person it is fairly easy to explain, but hell to go through. However, when I think about what my wife and I have; our relationship . . . there are no words to fully articulate our coil of worlds. These relationships change and evolve throughout time, which change who we are as people. It would be vacuous to not recognize the gravity our relationships bring to shaping who we are as individuals, and as those relationships change and evolve, so do we.
Sexuality however, is not as simple as relationships; whether they fall within the typical paradigm, or if yours falls outside of it. I wonder though, after talking about relationships, how one’s sexual orientation and the formation of sexuality (in the sense of feeling sexy/attractive) and identity are skewed if any. I have posted on numerous occasions the high risks associated for LBGTQ persons including rape, being forced out of your home, and beatings among a litany of other horrid things. So, I wonder how many people hide their sexy to save themselves from bodily harm? What does this do to the formation of their identity? And one last question: Which one is worse?